Musee de Deteste
by Phorpus
Summary: Harry and Hermione travel through the wizarding world to save the life of their friend, along the way htey find, joy, laughter, and DANGER HPHG RWD


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter...but I DO own the lunchbox that has his name

Hope you like, took me a LONG time to find a good plot.

Chapter I-  
The Teennapping

Ron was quietly in the Gryffindor boy's dorm and was about to pull out a bottle of Icewine when the window shattered and a cloaked figure swooped swept into the room. Ron Weasley, being the incredible ninny that he is, soiled himself. After he stopped whimpering he said, "It's NOT what it looks like."  
The cloaked figure extended a long reptilian hand and said, "I'm sure it is..."  
Its glowing pink eyes glistened with hatred as he bared his yellow fangs and said, "...and I'm not a dimitrix."  
"Dimi-what?"  
"DimiTRIX!"  
"Like the nasty cereal from America?"  
"EXACTLY like the nasty cereal from America!"  
With that he grabbed Ron by the neck and drew his neck close as he sank his urine-yellwo jaws into Ron's pink neck.  
"NO! I HATE hickies!"  
The cloaked reptile dropped Ron onto the ground and left a letter to those who wished to see Ron alive. He then jumped out of the window and the window reassembled itself whiel Ron moaned with pain at the violet poison seeping into his throat.

--------------Meanwhile in The Common Room--------------------

"Okay, Harry, ttruth or dare?"  
Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Dean, McGonagall, Lavender, Parvarti, Seamus, and Michael Moore were half-naked and around a glass bottle. "Ummm...dare! I feel like being an idiot today!"  
Hermione tapped her chin and and said, "Kiss me"  
He didn't blush at all as he crouched his legs and was about to pounce on Hermione when Ron fell down the stairs with blood all over him...especially the neck area.  
"RON! That is REALLY a mood killer!" McGonagall rushed over and saw the four teeth holes in Ron's neck and said to Seamus and Dean, "Get professor Dumbledore or Madame Pomfrey, quick!"  
Harry was putting on the last of his clothes when he kneeled beside Ron and asked, "What happened, Ron? Termites? It were those rotten termites, weren't they? I'll get those little wood-eating, cotton-picking..."  
Hermione pulled up her skirt and put on her glasses and examined the marks, "I've only seen these marks in really ancient books! There from a dimitrix!"  
Ginny pushed away Michael Moore, Lavender, and Parvarti out of the portrait hole and said, "A what?"  
Hermione pulled up the rug and pulled out a heavy book and read: "Dimitrix, the earliest form of the dementor, is the most vile creature to date (1356 BC), known to fiest on the life of the cowardly, they were forced to reform when the wizards found ways to amke their skin impenetrable to the Dimitrix's fangs."  
McGonagall nodded as did Ginny but Harry had just ran into the boy's dorm.  
"...Also, the Dmitrix is much more hazardous than the dementor as the dementor is mindfull of good thoughts, the Dimitrix is mindfull of all thoughts. Seen by villagers during the night as lizard, dragon, snake, or Elvis, this creature is known overall as being a fake and mythical creature, along with the unicorn and wizards."  
Dumbledore ran into the room and fell down as he saw Ron'sw bloody body.  
"What happened?! Lucius Malfoy? Why that li'l..."  
"No, Dumbly, a Dimitrix or old times."  
Harry ran back from the boy's dorm and held up a scarlet letter, "Maybe this could help us?"  
Dumbledore accio'd it to show off his wizarding skill and read aloud:

Dear Dickweeds,  
You all thought that we were gone, but you have by now figured out that I am a Dimitrix! For further information please refer to your local city library (Because knowledge is power!). I have left this single clue to begin your quest for me, I wish to find the most talented and courageous of you to find my lair...if he/she does, I will happily fork over the antidote.  
Sincerely,  
Phorbas PS:The little sissy will die in a week...and long live the Red Sox

Dumbledore folded up the letter and said to Harry and Hermione, "I would like the two of you to go on this quest. As I believe I already know what he is up to. He left this, as a clue."  
He held out a marble flute and Harry took it.  
"Ron's life is in your hands, do not let him down"  
Ron spat up a gallon of blood and giggled a, "Diddly-diddly-doo-doo!"  
Harry looked back at Hermione and said, "Well, lets pack our bags, Hermione, looks like we're going away for a while."

A/N: Hope you like! I'll add another chappie tomorrow! Stay tuned for your local ten o' clock news 


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